dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize