those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
