i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
