Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize