I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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