just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He shit in the fireplace
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
