So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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