You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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