last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
