u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
