you traded sex for a burrito?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
