I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
