The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
