that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
