I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
