he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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