So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
