Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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