we have pet lesbian snakes
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
