my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
