I hate your face
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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