bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
