Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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