ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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