my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize