Jerry, you need to find god
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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