i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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