you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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