So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize