I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
These tits shall not be calmed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
