I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
