You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
