I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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