did you get engaged???
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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