dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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