It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
A bitchslap is in order.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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