bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
