your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
