Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
