i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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