Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
