I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
