Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
