My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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