he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
