your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
