My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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