I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
