big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
