I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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