ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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