Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
