she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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