In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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