When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im holly from the hills drunk
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
