bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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