so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
